The Direction of My Focus will Determine My Outcome.

There is a definite connection between attitude and outcome among people and it seems to be a common occurrence in multiple areas and activities. You may say, well, that’s common sense, attitude is everything. Attitude will affect your outcome, that’s not news. A positive attitude will drive someone to look for and achieve bigger and better goals while a bad attitude will cause that same person to always look for what’s wrong in every situation. Let’s go a little deeper.


An ordinary reality that we have as human beings is summed up in the phrase, “Fight or Flight”. If we are subjected to negativity on a regular basis, we will begin to unconsciously relate particular words and/or actions to our own lives. If we remain exposed to those conditions, whether they are true or not, we will adopt the attributes of what we are absorbing. The longer we sit in our sorrow, the more we will believe this is the best it will ever be, and this is the best I could ever do. Kind of like Julia Roberts said in the movie Pretty Woman, “It’s easier to believe the bad stuff.”


A much more difficult avenue to follow is the positive, uplifting, I can do it attitude… Or is it? I believe that the road to success is the same for everyone. (LOL, some of you just smirked and said, Really”?) Allow me to explain my reasoning. What I did NOT say was the path is as easy for everyone. Undoubtedly those who grew up in stable homes with good fundamentals will be farther down the road than those who were not so fortunate and those with mental or addictive issues will definitely have a much greater challenge. Regardless of how steep the climb, the path is still the same.


I can list a 1000 reasons why I will not be rich and successful OR I can list a 1000 ways I can be, the choice is mine. I can look at my current situation and say this is as good as it gets, or I can say this is not good enough. I can look at everyone that is holding me back and believe that “I” do not have the power to make a change or I can choose to leave that theory in the past.


I enjoy reading business and self-help type books. I also enjoy marriage and relationship material, which if you know my marital past you would understand. I have bookshelves full of books on sales and marketing, self-disciple, goal setting, marriage, and a lot of spiritual topics as well.

There are many different topics by many different authors but, they all end up saying the same point just in their own words. It can’t be said any simpler than Zig Ziglar said, “If you give enough people what they want, you will get what you want.”


If I am a business owner, then I have started that business to gain a profit. My customers will be searching for a product or service and If my focus is on how to properly service that client better than my competition, then I will, in turn, reap the financial benefit. My job is to know the client and their needs better than anyone else. If however, I focus on MY benefit then I will likely miss the mark and lose the client.

Likewise, in my marriage, I once lived for me but, it wasn’t until I redirected my focus to her that the greatest improvement came. I almost lost it! It was a long hard road but has been worth it all. When I focus on what’s in it for me and not being the best spouse that I can be then I will likely focus on all the negative that is happening and things will only grow worse.

Matthew 7:12 says, So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you…

As a disclaimer, I will admit that this does not always work but, It will 98% of the time. There are those who regardless of your actions will just never come around.


I have personally counseled many men and women on marriage and relationship issues, and I can tell early on which ones will make it or not. The ones that begin and continue to look at the other person and what THEY are doing wrong, 100% of the time without fail, are the ones who never make it… EVERY TIME.

You can choose to accept your current position, or you can choose to make a change, the choice is yours. Regardless of your outcome, it will be due to where you choose to focus.

Tommy Eldridge

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